Internet Peoples #1 - Hysterial Progressives
June 7th 2008 04:47
The Hysterial Progressive
Basic Description
The insane, up-herself (always a she, I haven't figured out why yet) 'look at me I'm so open minded' type of person. For these people being open minded involves accepting something for what it is rather than understanding it.
How You Can Tell They Are There
These people have a habit of being very much 'open minded' when something new and insane happens which pushes the boundaries of art or humanities though they scoff at anything that has been around for centuries. A nuclear family where the wife stays home and the husband goes out and wins bread? Perish the thought! A family composed of four parents who share sixteen children between them and openly have sex in front of them? 'Yay for progress!' so it goes.
They also have a habit of taking things very literally and are incapable of understanding the merits of sarcasm. Now I understand, the internet, yes, people will be misunderstood but please understand, if I say something like this: 'I like to rip chickens heads off and eat them raw! buahahahahaha!', they will take you literally.
In response to such satire they will probably go and create a blog or website or something and for reasons I have yet to understand, the blog, website, whatever they create has a name which needs to be abbreviated, so she might go and start 'People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals or PETA for short. 'OMG look how clever and sophisticated I am!' they think to themselves as they conjure it all up in their brains.
Their Communication Model
Many types of people cannot be reasoned with, however there is a special kind of inanity the hysterical progressive has. Basically, their paranoia about the world being out to get their progressive ideals mixed with her own insecurity thereof means she would rather attack a person directly rather than try to engage in any level headed discussion.
For them it isn't about being right or wrong, learning something or not (though they will claim otherwise) but it's to argue and above all be correct. Never be wrong, never give in, and never ever argue on the merits of fact because such things are the enemies of progress. If someone questions a core ideal they attack that person, not the question, but the person.
The reason for this is simple, the hysterical progressive in a bid to cover up her shortcomings as a thinking, rational, logical human being has created a cloud of confusion around her mind so dense that they create electrical storms which often times fry her brain. Sometimes it gives off the smell of bacon.
Why They Are The Way They Are
Hysterical Progressives usually grow up in a very closed environment, as a whiplash response they do a complete 180 sometime during puberty. It is supposed to be an attempt to make up for years of suffering which they will exaggerate to justify their own bent views of the world and attack other people for lacking the same kind of perspective they have. For example a hysterical progressive might have once been to a chicken slaughter house as a girl which shocked her. After growing up she will probably exclaim ‘every day I grew up I saw animals being maimed and killed! Enough of this animal abuse I say! *nibbles on carrot*’, ‘what? You disagree? Well you sir did not grow up in the same oppressive environment I was! You lack the insight I have!’
To Conclude
Hysterical Progressives are just desperately trying to have a feeling of worth in this cruel world where blabbering shit is not enough to give you any kind of recognition.
Hysterial Progressive
Basic Description
The insane, up-herself (always a she, I haven't figured out why yet) 'look at me I'm so open minded' type of person. For these people being open minded involves accepting something for what it is rather than understanding it.
How You Can Tell They Are There
These people have a habit of being very much 'open minded' when something new and insane happens which pushes the boundaries of art or humanities though they scoff at anything that has been around for centuries. A nuclear family where the wife stays home and the husband goes out and wins bread? Perish the thought! A family composed of four parents who share sixteen children between them and openly have sex in front of them? 'Yay for progress!' so it goes.
They also have a habit of taking things very literally and are incapable of understanding the merits of sarcasm. Now I understand, the internet, yes, people will be misunderstood but please understand, if I say something like this: 'I like to rip chickens heads off and eat them raw! buahahahahaha!', they will take you literally.
In response to such satire they will probably go and create a blog or website or something and for reasons I have yet to understand, the blog, website, whatever they create has a name which needs to be abbreviated, so she might go and start 'People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals or PETA for short. 'OMG look how clever and sophisticated I am!' they think to themselves as they conjure it all up in their brains.
Their Communication Model
Many types of people cannot be reasoned with, however there is a special kind of inanity the hysterical progressive has. Basically, their paranoia about the world being out to get their progressive ideals mixed with her own insecurity thereof means she would rather attack a person directly rather than try to engage in any level headed discussion.
For them it isn't about being right or wrong, learning something or not (though they will claim otherwise) but it's to argue and above all be correct. Never be wrong, never give in, and never ever argue on the merits of fact because such things are the enemies of progress. If someone questions a core ideal they attack that person, not the question, but the person.
The reason for this is simple, the hysterical progressive in a bid to cover up her shortcomings as a thinking, rational, logical human being has created a cloud of confusion around her mind so dense that they create electrical storms which often times fry her brain. Sometimes it gives off the smell of bacon.
Why They Are The Way They Are
Hysterical Progressives usually grow up in a very closed environment, as a whiplash response they do a complete 180 sometime during puberty. It is supposed to be an attempt to make up for years of suffering which they will exaggerate to justify their own bent views of the world and attack other people for lacking the same kind of perspective they have. For example a hysterical progressive might have once been to a chicken slaughter house as a girl which shocked her. After growing up she will probably exclaim ‘every day I grew up I saw animals being maimed and killed! Enough of this animal abuse I say! *nibbles on carrot*’, ‘what? You disagree? Well you sir did not grow up in the same oppressive environment I was! You lack the insight I have!’
To Conclude
Hysterical Progressives are just desperately trying to have a feeling of worth in this cruel world where blabbering shit is not enough to give you any kind of recognition.
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